How I Broke Free from Trichotillomania — And What Helped Me Heal
One question I get asked a lot when I share my experience living with trichotillomania is:
“So how did you stop pulling out your hair?”
The truth? It wasn’t a straight path. I didn’t follow a traditional treatment route like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), though I deeply honor and recommend therapeutic support to anyone navigating this or similar behaviors.
Therapy has been life-changing for me—especially in healing from postpartum depression and managing anxiety.
But during this chapter of my life, I did the work on my own, guided by curiosity, compassion, and the belief that I could understand my patterns.
So, here’s exactly what I did. These are the steps I took to overcome trichotillomania—not perfectly, not all at once—but enough to change the trajectory of my life. And while everyone’s journey is unique, I hope these tools offer you a spark of hope.
Step One: Observation Without Judgment
For the first month, I made a conscious choice not to fix anything.
No control. No punishment. No shame.
Just awareness.
I carried a small journal—something about the physical act of writing with my hand helped me slow down and connect my head and heart. Every time I felt the urge to pull, I wrote down what was happening around me. I didn’t try to stop the behavior. I simply observed it.
This was the beginning of coming home to myself.
Step Two: Detailed Tracking
I became a gentle scientist of my own experience. I recorded:
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Where I was
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What time it was
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Who I was with
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What I was hearing
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What I was feeling (tired, hungry, anxious, bored...)
By paying close attention, I started noticing patterns. Emotional weather systems. Energetic shifts. Conversations that stirred something inside me. Physical sensations. It was all connected.
Step Three: Noting the Numbers
At the end of each day, I wrote down a number:
How many times did I pull today?
No judgment. Just data.
Eventually, I could tell the kind of day I’d had by the number alone. A “10” day usually meant stress, overwhelm, or disconnection. A “2” day meant I was more grounded, more supported. That number became my compass.
Step Four: Identifying My Triggers
After a few weeks, some root causes began to rise to the surface. Here’s what I discovered:
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Chronic criticism: Often from well-meaning loved ones who disapproved of my lifestyle choices. I’d internalize their remarks, and the weight of that unspoken pain would trigger pulling episodes.
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Boredom + touch: While I had started pulling in my early teens, the behavior worsened when a tiny cyst developed on my scalp in my 20s. I’d rub it, then pull. Even after having the cyst surgically removed, the habit had been formed.
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Unprocessed emotions: Shame, loneliness, and looping thoughts about failure, especially around not following the traditional “successful” path expected of me. Whenever I felt self-doubt or pressure, pulling became my quiet escape.
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Habit stacking: Reading was my comfort. But somewhere along the way, I started pulling while reading—stacking a destructive habit onto a nurturing one.
Step Five: A Gentle Disruption
At the end of that month, I didn’t try to overhaul my life.
I made one tiny change: I bought a red bracelet.
It was bright enough to catch my eye when I raised my hand toward my head. It wasn’t magic. It didn’t stop me every time. But it interrupted the loop—just enough for me to choose something else.
Step Six: Visual Reminders
I placed soft, encouraging cues in my daily spaces—on my mirror, in my car, beside my desk. At first, they were vague so that no one could see what I was going through, as I was still carrying shame. But as I began to share my truth—especially with my then-boyfriend, now-husband—I became bolder. I posted mantras, affirmations, and reminders of my intention.
And the more I spoke the truth aloud, the less power the silence had.
What Didn’t Work (and What I Did Instead)
I did go to therapy—once. The advice I received was to cut off all contact with my parents. That wasn’t a choice I felt ready to make.
Instead, I chose something else:
I left the family business.
I turned toward my own healing.
I focused on building a teaching career rooted in self-empowerment and embodiment.
I began practicing sankalpa—a daily intention from the heart—and wove in movement-based interruption techniques. Whenever I felt the urge to pull, I’d:
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Go for a walk
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Pick up a paintbrush
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Do a few yoga postures
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Place my hands in water
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Rub a grounding essential oil into my palms
Slowly, the urges softened. The episodes became fewer. The habit loops loosened their grip.
The Truth About Healing
It wasn’t fast.
It wasn’t perfect.
And it certainly wasn’t linear.
Yes, I had setbacks.
Yes, I pulled again, many times.
But I kept choosing myself.
Over and over again.
With grace. With patience. With love.
What I Gained—Beyond the Pulling
This journey gave me more than just freedom from hair-pulling.
It helped me:
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Heal relationships strained by misunderstanding
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Cultivate peace in my nervous system
- Manifest my first trip to Mysore, India
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Move to the mountains and live in alignment with my spirit
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Launch my own business rooted in nature, ritual, and creativity
It also led to the creation of Tiny Intentions—a line of visual reminders and wearable affirmations designed to disrupt habit loops with beauty, mindfulness, and meaning.
You Can Do This, Too.
If you’re navigating trichotillomania or any behavior that makes you feel stuck, know this:
You are not broken.
You are not alone.
And yes—you can change.
Not by force.
By choosing awareness. By choosing grace.
By interrupting the loop one moment at a time.
If you’re seeking tools to support your healing…
We offer intention tattoos and visual reminders that are wearable, artful, and rooted in plant wisdom. Each design is hand-illustrated and inspired by the language of flowers—offering you not just something beautiful to look at, but something to believe in.
Whether you wear them with words or let the flowers speak for themselves, they are a whisper to your soul:
🌿 You are powerful.
🌿 You are worthy of your dreams.
🌿 You can begin again.
With you,
Charina